Fatmouse

Fatmouse makes everything a lot better. He doesn't make things. He makes them better.
Fatmouse will eat dinner on your grandma's lace tablecloth.
Fatmouse cares not about the affairs of small men. Fatmouse likes to eat.
Fatmouse can make you a winner. Fatmouse can make you a loser. Fatmouse doesn't care about either. It is for you to care about fatmouse.
Fatmouse has no patience but much hunger.
Fatmouse takes umbrage at the sight of your small torso and weak flaccid limbs. Fatmouse is never fooled by imitators.
Fatmouse will speak and you will listen. Fatmouse likes to eat. Fatmouse does not care for your money or your social status or your stupid ordered lives.
Fatmouse cares only for your carbohydrates. fatmouse must feed
Fatmouse makes everything a lot better. He doesn't make things. He makes them better.
Fatmouse will eat dinner on your grandma's lace tablecloth.
Fatmouse cares not about the affairs of small men. Fatmouse likes to eat.
Fatmouse can make you a winner. Fatmouse can make you a loser. Fatmouse doesn't care about either. It is for you to care about fatmouse.
Fatmouse has no patience but much hunger.
Fatmouse takes umbrage at the sight of your small torso and weak flaccid limbs. Fatmouse is never fooled by imitators.
Fatmouse will speak and you will listen. Fatmouse likes to eat. Fatmouse does not care for your money or your social status or your stupid ordered lives. Fatmouse cares only for your carbohydrates. fatmouse must feed

As you can clearly see, the scales are tipped in favour of fatmouse. You are but another consumable in a long line of consumables.
Buying in bulk saves you money. Swallowing your head spares fatmouse the sound of your thin squeaky protests.
Fatmouse's digestive tract contains some of the most powerful acids known to science.
Fatmouse is ready to rumble.
Fatmouse will rumble all over your homes and livelihoods. Your family is nothing but a peristaltic shift to fatmouse.

"Fatmouse is a self-sustaining industry.
Fatmouse needs a supercomputer to count all the calories he must consume.
Stock in fatmouse always goes up.
You should buy stock in fatmouse.
Fatmouse eats your stock.
You are an initial public offering to fatmouse."

"fatmouse is the new science of mathematics. The fatmouse theorem is:
Fatmouse + you = fatmouse

The proof of this theorem is manifest in fatmouse. For any number n, fatmouse is greater than n. Your math textbooks have already been shredded for bedding."
- highlights from speeches at the 2001 convocation, transcribed by noah, acolyte of the order of the hooded rat
Notice: it has recently been brought to our attention that fatmouse has relocated to tokyo, japan, having outgrown the hibernation chamber on his secret uncharted pacific island stronghold. The message behind this is clear: fatmouse is no longer prepared to wait and be fed. Fatmouse is coming to feed in person, and he will brook no interference.
Fatmouse has issued a press release as of may 11th, 2002.

"fatmouse is coming to lead this poor, thin world into a new age of glorious gluttony. You must prepare for his coming; prepare to give up your wealth, your labour and your biomass for the greater glory of fatmouse. You will bring him the heads of his wretched adversaries, you will bring him their canned goods and perishables, and you will bring him their babies, preferably sauteéd with onions. You have been forewarned. Fatmouse is coming and you will serve him, willingly with your life and soul or unwillingly with your spit-roasted remains. fatmouse must feed."